Friday, December 23, 2011

disappearing into the blue

 I’m kind of a cheater when it comes to life.  I secretly grab hold to those around me.  I use them to keep my head above water when I’m too weak to draw that power from myself.  It’s dangerous to be in water not knowing how to swim.  It’s dangerous to rely on others to save you when you have never told them they keep you afloat.  And sometimes I cut it too close let myself flounder for too long, realize too late that I am grabbing for someone or something that is no longer there. 
I need a little time to look around.
To count hearts in the circle.
To cherish the victories & mourn the losses. 
To clear my soul & find my smile.
To write for myself.
To run alone.   
This is my present to me, a little private time off. 
I will be ‘seeing’ you all in the New Year.  I wish you all a fabulous week!
“It feels curiously like holding your breath under water.  Eyes shut tight, mouth closed, you could try to convince yourself to inhale but you know it won’t work.  Your body won’t betray you like your mind will.  You would never attempt to take air underwater the same way you would never jump over the rail.  Ludicrous really, all of it, being underwater thinking about breathing, being on the edge thinking about jumping. And being next to him.  One moment he is looking away. The wind is blowing. He turns and smiles. It feels like you have taken a lung full of water, like your foot is where your hand should be, and you are about to drown from jumping over an unthinkable edge.  The impact is solid.  You haven’t just fallen in love with him you have always been in love with him.  His smile widens spreading into his eyes.  That’s right, you are the last to know.” ~Racing the Devil, by mlb~ 

Until we meet again, with love,
Sweet Misty Brown

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