in the deep

I could see her start to lose it. Just like that, she had been so excited but an hour later her eyes red and swollen one contact in and the other looking like a lost cause.  “It is that good eye, if she gets anything in it she really freaks out.  It is psychological.” I say again.  The doctor so calm and cheerful, her staff so supportive, and Beach so Beach unwilling to give up against logic. 

“She is so driven.” The Doctor mutters mostly to herself.  Yes, this is that side of Beach, the dark side which must be used for good and not evil.

“Beach we have two options we can stay and try as long as you want forgetting about swim team for tonight or you can do one last try and we can go but we are already late.”

“All I wanted today is to swim.” She cries sitting puffy eyed before the mirror in a little blue dress and under it her leo; gymnastics, eye doctor, swim team.

And against my better judgment we went fifteen minutes late to a new pool, new team, really a new sport she had taken lessons but a new comer to team. 

We round the pool the coach smiling at us.  Beach looks so small and sweet in her new swimsuit holding her new goggles.  The ones I paid an extra two bucks for because the box guaranteed the young swimmer the best view in the water- lol magic feathers.

“I am so sorry we are late this is Beach she is here for swim team.”

“She had lessons before and someone said she was ready for swim team, right?” The coach questions.

“A long time ago.” I say realizing that for all this coach knows I am handing her a rock.  I want to explain Beach but there isn’t anything I can say she will just have to see her for herself. 

I sit on the bench realizing I am shaking as Beach slips into the water with three other 7 & 8 olds they look like shinny water-dogs wiggling together in one lane of the deep end of the lap pool.      

And it happens just like that.

“She’s a good little swimmer.” The coach says looking pleased & sounding relieved a couple laps in. 

“Yes she is.” 

All smiles & thumbs up as she treads water.

Don’t forget to breathe.

***

“Beach let’s show dad how you put in your contacts.”

We crowd into her bedroom.  I can admit I wanted him to see how hard it was. I want him to understand why I am 2 beers in on a week night.  She pulls out the right contact the one she couldn’t get in by herself.  Adjusts it on her finger lifting it to the eye she is prying open and slips it in first try. 

“Like that.” She says.

Yes Beach, just like that.