Sunday, August 7, 2011

back to good

Every Sunday I would get up at 5:00 am.  Throw a banana in the blender with a cup of cold coffee & a package of Instant Breakfast (don’t knock it until you try it).  Heading out before my family woke up taking the 20 minute drive up the canyon to run the slc overlook trail.

It is amazing what you can find on top of a mountain.  One day I hit the top about quarter to 7 and I found a little old Scottish man in a kilt & a little old Scottish woman with a wooden cane eating saltine crackers.  The scene perplexes me to no end & when it comes to mind I can’t help but to smile. 


I don’t exactly know where that drive went, to rise & religiously ‘go to church’ when I could have been sleeping.  I do know it was slowly eroded by my medical diagnosis which began me questioning myself in ways I never had before.  

And then the loss of my sister.  I sat down in the silence & surrendered my passions to the shadows of doubt & fear.

I’m taking back that white flag.
I’m done with all the starting & stopping. 
And the wishing this was easy or even fair- bring it on as it is.

I may not conquer the mountain every Sunday (the farm is a lot of work) but I did take the first step I bought the canyon pass.
I am even thinking about reconciling with the Church of Me, where faith in a higher power is optional, attendance in your own life is mandatory, & the drive to push yourself beyond what you believe possible is scripture.

Welcome home Sister Brown...

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