Thursday, June 16, 2011

which way up?

When I get sick like this managing life as some one's mom, writing, farming, home schooling & running becomes a precarious balancing act.  Done right when I feel like taking a nap I can take a long hot run & return home feeling better.  Done wrong when I feel like taking a run I take a long hot nap & wake up in the ER.

I can do everything the way a diabetic w/ hypokalemia, should; rest right, eat right, work out, watch my levels, and still manage to crash.  I can steer a crash; skip meals, over do it, misplace my meter, and nothing disastrous may happen.

It’s like living with a murder mystery…hoping I’m not the victim in the end.

So you run prevention, build up your defensive game, and hope for second best.
But I’m better at putting out fires (or causing them) than preventing them.
I have no defenses; I am strictly offensive. *smirk*
And hope? Not likely, but despair isn’t an option, it requires a longer attention span than I have.  And I am way too competitive to settle for second.

So you fight.  What would get me a red card in a soccer game might save my life in life.

What I can’t do is spot it coming on.
I do know however the recipe for disaster loosely follows the path which creates diamonds; pressure & heat applied steadily over a long period of time… 

Insert running, my pressure valve.
Insert writing, the anti running and my addiction.
Insert my very stubborn self destructive personality. (What? I can hear you. That’s not a very nice thing to say.)

Insert the view out over the edge of a very strange looking summer.

Nap or Run?

I honestly don’t know this time. 
My head is trail running up the overlook but my will is sagging on the bench.  What I need is a good road sign which reads: Your Mountain is this way.

Addendum to post:  As I was previewing this page the phones rings and guess what? It was one of my road signs calling. If I didn’t know better I’d believe in something.

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