tales from the backseat

BEFORE

“Mom are we late?”

“Mom is never late.”

“Do you know where we are going?”

“I think I do. I have directions.”

“Did you write them or someone else?”

“I wrote the address from the web page.  I can find an address.”

“Okay but will you please follow them this time I don’t want to get lost and all late. I heard Dance Teachers don’t like late kids.”

“We have plenty of time before the class starts.  And I know where I am going so please try and relax.”

“Mom, did you know on the news there was this mom who took the wrong baby home from the hospital and her real baby went with someone else.  But the mom didn’t want to trade back because her real daughter was blind.” Hold on there, that last bit sounds fishy.

“But Beach if you raise a baby doesn’t that make it your baby?”

“I know it is very complex because the baby you raise is yours and the baby you created is yours.” 

“So, Beach which one do you think is the woman's true child then?  The one she is raising or the one genetically hers?”

“Well I guess that depends on who you are AND who you want to be.”

“Here we are.  Are you ready for your first dance class?”

“Do you think this is a good idea mom? What if I pick up bad habits or do the wrong move because dance is different from gymnastics what if I forget to point my toes?”

“Get out of the car Beach.”

AFTER

“Well? How did we like dance class?”

“It was fun.” *Cartwheel in the hallway*

“The tumbling part isn’t too boring?”

“No. I never get to do somersaults.”

“So do we sign up?”

“Yes.”  *Hands clapping*  *Cartwheel, finish*

“Mom, was my knee bend on that one back walk over I did in class to show my dance teacher?”

“Yeah, a tiny bit but you did three others perfectly and she really thought you were amazing. Didn't you see her face when she saw your form? She covered her mouth and sank to the floor asking you to do it again.”

“I felt it.” *Round off in the grass, finish*

"Amazing?"

"No, the bent knee."

“It can happen.”

“Yeah and I didn’t die because of bent legs.” *Giggle, Giggle*

“Nope, it all seems okay.” Ah finally peace & low blood pressure from a little community dance class?

“Mom! Don’t be ridiculous I didn’t die but that doesn’t make it okay!”

*Handstand, finish*

AND THE NEXT DAY (after 3 hrs in the gym)

"Mom, I know why my knee was bent."
"On what?"
"On that back walk over in dance class."
Oh you have got to be shitting me!