Wednesday, June 1, 2011

at the risk of offending myself

At the risk of offending myself I must say all things happen for a reason. You know things like you don’t put the lid on the salsa right so the next time you reach for it holding it by the lid it spills.  You run a red light in front of a cop because he was making you nervous you get a ticket.  You don’t return library books on time you get a library fine.  You walk you trip.  You run you stumble.  You climb you fall. A fish spends all night out of water on the dresser and it lives for three days.  Wait- what was that last one?! Something about Zombie fish?  Anyway, life is a series of predictable events when viewed through the rear view mirror of 20/20 hindsight. 

So let’s do some leaping.  We read Charlotte’s Web 2 years ago to Beach, 4 yrs ago to Fisher, 10 yrs ago to Conner, and (holy cow) 16 yrs ago to Alexis.  I clearly did not see it as a dangerous text but had I known about Gimper I might have skipped reading it to the youngest. 
Meet Gimper. 

Born with the rest of the chickens right away clearly something was not right. Man down!!!! The trouble is his/her legs, kind-a twisty. 

Insert Pa played by Colby the skunk killer insert Fern played by Beach.  I didn’t really hear the whole deal go down but the end result was Beach is Gimper’s mother: win or lose.

And it is the funniest thing to hear Beach complain about the chores of motherhood. 
“Oh that took forever to get her down.  I had to read three stories.” AND “I’ve done everything for her and she is peeping for no reason, just ignore her.”
AND whisper, “Can you watch her for me for a second?”
“Sure.” Peep. Peep. Peep. Peep.
*huge sigh* “Never mind.”
“What did you need me to watch her for?”
 “Nothing now!” 

So all things happen for a reason, this chick is messed up because of a basic error in the recipe.  Beach is Gimper’s mom because she is who she is and life makes sense until you look past the tenderness of a child caring for a suffering bird and wonder what in the hell is going on?!

You pick a dried up fish off the dresser.  Put him in a cup of water because that is where fish go- in water & the damn thing swims around, lives for three days & drops dead. Still didn’t see that one coming and I am the idiot who put the fish in the glass just in case.        

I will let you know how Gimper & his/her mother are doing but don’t expect a happy ending. Rather keep in mind that all things happen for a reason, terrific or not.        

No comments:

Post a Comment