Wednesday, February 8, 2012

the education of man & beast

Last night the chickens crossed the stupid line with flare.  I was already asleep, warm & cozy in my bed when Colby crawled in.  Not three minutes later form out in the yard a chicken began squawking.
“Oh,” he groans listening “that sounds like trouble in the hen house.” The chicken squawks a few desperate calls then begins squawking at a steady pace into the darkness. 
“You better go check on them.” I say.  Reluctantly he sits up.  I feel him roll back out of bed, I hear him stumbling for clothes; climb down the stairs and out the door.  Meanwhile the chicken is starting to sound desperate.  I can imagine her in the clutches of a raccoon, or a skunk, or a giant python (did you see nature last night?).  I’m hoping Colby grabbed a gun, I’m hoping he made it in time to save her.  In my mind I see blood and feathers, terrible claws, and Colby in the moonlight: boots, shirt, gun, panties.
A few minutes later the back door opens.  Followed by the sound of Colby up the stairs, I feel his weight on the edge of the bed, “*&^%ing chickens! The only thing our there is Ofello loafing around in the moonlight.” 
Ofello, the rabbit so domesticated he only eats pellets? 
A rabbit, who would not be hopping around if a homeless guy armed with a giant python and a gang of raccoons was feasting on 40 piece bucket of chicken?

I don’t have Beach today, I think I will teach those chickens their place on the farm food chain, make some animal flash cards: hawk (will eat you), raccoon (will eat you), skunk (will eat you), seagull (will poop on you), python, small child, or homeless guy (unpredictable outcome), rabbit (not dangerous), dog (will  pick your feathers clean off your body), cat (too lazy to do shit so by all means come into the mudroom and eat their food), farmer, (will eat your unborn children). Maybe I will leave that last one out sometimes too much knowledge is a dangerous thing.

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